


Stay With Me (Cause You're All I Need)

by emhvirgo



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-11 13:19:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3328112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emhvirgo/pseuds/emhvirgo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura is trying to move on with life without Carmilla when things change without warning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay With Me (Cause You're All I Need)

“How’ve you been?” Danny asked. It was just a simple phrase, but it held so much meaning.

It had been a year and a half since everything had changed for Laura. A year and a half ago Danny and Laura were helping LaFontaine and Perry plan a small trip around Europe. The group had just gotten through France when there was a knock on Laura’s door. Two men in suits stood in front of Laura and delivered the lines she had never wanted to hear, _‘I regret to inform you that Carmilla Karnstein has been declared missing in action.’_ Hearing those words had Laura releasing a sob which brought the others to the door. Danny pulled the crying girl into her arms as the men explained the situation, _‘Her team had been traveling and were caught under heavy fire. Only two bodies were found. The other three could not be contacted or found. Carmilla was one of the three.’_ It was then that LaF had spoken up, _‘So then she could still be alive?’_ Only to be answered with a, _‘Not likely.’_ Not much had been said after that. After Laura had calmed down considerably she had asked to be left alone. Ever since that day, she had never quite been the same.

“I’m making it through. Taking it day by day.” Laura gave a sad smile.

“You know we’re always here for you. You don’t have to deal with any of it alone.” Danny looked sympathetic, Laura almost hated it.

“I’ll be fine. I am fine.”

“Laura, don’t seclude yourself.”

“Danny, don’t worry. I’m better okay?”

“Alright. Well I have the information you needed for the contact for your article.” Danny held up a thick manila folder.

“Great! Make yourself comfortable on the couch. I just have to grab my laptop from the other room.” Laura lit up and took off, disappearing from sight. Laying the folder down, Danny took a seat on the couch as there was a knock at the door. “Can you grab that?” Laura called.

Reaching the door, Danny felt something odd festering. Something was off. Opening the door, she was met with an all too familiar face.

“Well hey there, Red. Long time, no see.” Carmilla spoke. Danny stood frozen.

“What is it, Danny?” Laura appeared just in the line of sight of the door. She wasn’t sure how she kept from dropping her laptop as she met eyes with the vampire.

“Hey cupcake.”

“Carmilla?” Laura’s voice was shaking. Danny had moved to let Carmilla in.

“That would be my name, sweetheart.” Carmilla smiled.

“I’m going to go and let you two...Let me know if you need anything, Laura.” Danny spoke before heading out the door.

“You were missing in action. They said you were probably dead.” Laura choked.

“I’m a vampire, Laura. I survived.”

“So then where have you been for the past year and a half?” Laura moved to the couch before her legs gave out.

“I’ve been around. That’s not important, though. I’m back and-.”

“Not important? I had been told you were pretty much dead. Cried through your funeral. I’ve been pushing through the last year and a half trying to accept that I would never see you again. Yet all you can say is that you’ve been around and it’s not important?” Laura growled, tears filling her eyes.

“Can we please just forget all that, Laura?” Carmilla sighed, cringing at the malice in the other girl’s voice.

“You want me to just act like all that’s happened, hasn’t?! That you didn’t join the Joint Forces without talking to me first? That you left me for months on my own and only came back to tell me you were being sent to the middle east. That I didn’t spend months worrying about you and then these men show up to tell me you’re gone. Then suddenly you show up without any explanation. Out of all that, you expect me to just act like nothing happened?!” Laura was practically shouting, tears falling down her cheeks.

“I tried to come back to you, Laura. But -.”

“Just get out.”

“Laura…”

“GET OUT!” Laura’s voice broke several octaves, causing Carmilla to flinch back. After a few minutes of silence, the vampire was gone.

~~~

A week of silence had passed between Carmilla and Laura before Carmilla had found herself at a bar. She had gone through a liter of rum and was just starting her second liter when she saw movement out of the corner of her eye.

“Hey there,” A blonde gave a drunken smile to Carmilla who was doing her best to ignore everyone around her while she started on her first glass of her second liter.

“Hi,” The vampire sighed, hoping if she didn’t make eye contact with the drunk girl she’d eventually go away.

“There’s no way someone as hot as you is here alone,” No such luck on being left alone apparently.

Before Carmilla could answer, another voice spoke up from behind her, “You’re right. She’s here with me.” Danny glared at the drunk woman, her gaze causing her to vacate immediately.

“I appreciate the enthusiasm, Red. You’re not exactly my type though, sorry.”

“Oh shut up and buy me a drink for saving your pathetic ass.” Danny growled, taking the seat next to the brooding vampire.

“To what do I owe this pleasant visit?” Carmilla asked, calling the bartender over.

“Things are pretty rocky with you and Laura.” The redhead spoke after getting a whiskey on the rocks.

“I’m assuming she already told you all about it. How I was such a horrible person for keeping her in limbo for the past year and a half.”

“Yes but with a bit more contempt.”

“So you’re here to chew me out for her I presume.” The vampire let out a soft growl, pouring more rum in her cup.

“No. I’m here to see how you’re doing.” The vampire couldn’t help but feel taken aback.

“I’m fine. Just tired.”

“Bullshit. You died a year and a half ago. We had a funeral and everything. I know you would never have put Laura in that position just for kicks. Something serious would have had to happen in order to keep you away from her and hurt her like that. What the hell happened?” Danny had adjusted herself to look straight at Carmilla who had visibly tensed.

“We were making our way to a rendezvous point where another team had apparently disappeared from without any word. Less than a klick away we were ambushed with heavy fire and some of my comrades were taken down. They pushed the three of us that remained to the rendezvous point and we were immediately taken hostage. Everything after that is a blur, but things come back on occasion. All I really remember is a lot of physical pain and praying to whatever god that may or may not exist that I would somehow find my way back to Laura. So no, I didn’t want to put Laura through any of that. I didn’t exactly have much of a choice though,” Carmilla downed the glass of rum, thankful for the burn it sent down her throat.

“Wow. That’s...I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Were you hurt very badly?”

“There are scars almost everywhere. I’ve blocked out how at least 85% of them happened. Some memories don’t fade no matter how hard you try to forget, though.”

“That’s understandable. Do you still feel pain from them?”

“Sometimes. Is this when you text Laura and tell her everything in excruciating detail?” Carmilla’s gaze captured Danny’s as the redhead picked up her phone.

“Actually I’ve been texting LaF, Perry and Kirsch. Letting them know you’re back in one piece.”

“How are the newlyweds and the beefcake?” Carmilla smiled softly. She hadn’t really thought of anyone else outside of Laura. Although she had to admit to missing Perry’s motherly nature when she had to clean up a mess.

“LaF and Perry couldn’t be happier. They’re actually planning a trip to South America for a sort of honeymoon. And Kirsch is doing alright. He and I started testing the waters a bit recently.”

“Wait; you and Kirsch?” Carmilla couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

“Hey don’t laugh! He’s actually an alright guy once given the chance!”

“I bet! I just figured you and Laura would have tried things out.” There was a sudden sadness in her voice at the thought of Laura being with anyone else.

“We did.” Carmilla winced. “It was more platonic than anything else. She would cringe away from my touch. I couldn’t force her to be in a relationship if she wasn’t happy or comfortable and she admitted to feeling guilty about not being able to give me that part of her. It lasted for about a month before we both decided it was best that we just stayed friends. We tried to get her to get back out there after about nine months, but it was difficult to push her when we could tell you two were it for each other.”

“Why are you telling me all of this?” Carmilla hissed, visibly uncomfortable with the topic of Laura’s love life excluding her.

“Were you ignoring everything I just said?”

“If what you said had to do with Laura seeing other people, then I wish I had ignored everything you just said.”

“She’s still in love with you, you idiotic vampire!” Danny huffed, slamming her phone down on the bar which received her some curious looks.

“Okay well first off, I’d prefer it if you didn’t shout my every little secret to everyone in the world. And secondly, I recall her telling me to get the hell out and that she never wanted to see me ever again.”

“Since when have you ever listened to her?!”

“That’s besides the point!”

“Do you still love her?”

“Are you really asking me that?”

“Then give her a chance to process all that’s happened and try to talk to her. You’ve been gone for a year and half. Out of our lives for a year and a half. Can’t blame the girl for being upset when someone she thought was dead turned up at her front step.”

“Do you ever shut up?” Carmilla growled, pulling her cell phone out and opening up a new conversation in her messages. Danny laughed in response. “Do you think she’d be willing to talk now?”

“Well considering the cat dragged you in about a week ago, you could always try.”

“Leave the play on words to LaF because that was horrible.”

~~~

It was pushing midnight by the time Carmilla had made her way to the familiar door of apartment 307. She had discussed more serious things with Laura in the past, but that didn’t stop an overwhelming amount of nerves from taking over her. Knocking on the door, she found herself taking a deep breath, chastising herself for consuming so much rum that her entire essence smelled of it.

“Hey.” The word tumbled out on a shaky breath as the door of the apartment opened to reveal Laura with her hair up in a messy bun, wearing an old and worn Doctor Who shirt and gray sweats. Carmilla could feel her breath hitch in her throat as she had missed seeing this part of Laura right before she would fall asleep on the couch while a bad sitcom played in the background.

“Hey.” Laura deadpanned. They stood there in silence for a few more seconds before Laura moved to the side, gesturing for Carmilla to come in. “You wanted to talk?”

“Yeah.” Carmilla could feel Laura’s eyes watching her every move.

“How much have you had to drink?” Laura’s voice came out fierce, like it would in the past whenever Carmilla didn’t clean out the shower drain.

“Enough.” She smiled softly, missing the days when everything was simpler. Laura huffed as she followed her to the couch.

“Okay well, what’s going on? You know my sleep schedule. I’m normally half out on the couch by now. Or did you forget all that when you left me here to think you were dead?” Her words came out like acid and stung Carmilla, causing the vampire to visibly cringe.

“We were under heavy fire and there were only three of us left. We were taken hostage. I don’t remember much after a bag had gone over my head, but what I do remember is a lot of physical pain.” Carmilla met Laura’s eyes, “And praying that one day, I would get to see you again. That one day I would get to hold you and kiss you again. You’re the reason I didn’t give up then. I never meant for you to go through all that pain, trust me if I could have left there and come back to you, I would have done it in a heartbeat.”

“Wait, you were taken hostage for a year and a half?!” There were tears in Laura’s eyes. All Carmilla could do was nod. Laura’s arms were suddenly around Carmilla’s shoulders, pulling the girl into a tight hug.

“Okay cupcake, I’m a tad bit more fragile than before.” Carmilla chuckled, wincing slightly as Laura pressed into some scars that were still sore. Laura pulled back almost instantly, looking at the other girl in horror.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t hurt you did I?” The younger girl was glancing over Carmilla’s body as if she could see the damage through her clothes.

“No more than I already was.” Laura’s face was suddenly riddled with guilt. “Physically. A lot happened while I was gone and I’m still recovering.”

“I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I’m sorry, Carm. I mean, you were dead, or at least pronounced dead. Then you show up at my door and I figured that maybe you decided to just live a life without me and thought it would be easier to tell me you were dead.” Laura’s theory was met with a raised eyebrow and laugh. “Hey! Don’t laugh at me! It was logical at the time!”

“Cupcake, no! I’m not laughing at you, per se.” Carmilla composed herself, setting a hand on Laura’s thigh, “I’m laughing at the fact that you assumed I had decided to live a life without you.”

“Well you’re a vampire. I mean, you’ll have to move on from me eventually.” Laura bit her lip, looking to the floor in order to keep tears from falling down her cheeks. Carmilla gently placed a hand under Laura’s chin, bringing her eyes to meet her own.

“That’s where you’re wrong. The day you die, I die as well. The day you die is the day I would have lost my sun, moon and stars. My whole universe will be gone. Don’t ever think I’ll just move on with life when you’re gone because I can promise you that my life is over when yours is.” Tears now rolled freely down Laura’s cheeks, Carmilla catching them with the pads of her thumbs.

“Can I ask you what happened while you were...there?” The younger girl’s voice was almost a whisper. She felt horrible for asking this, but something in her needed to know.

Carmilla took a deep breath, “We were called to check out a rendezvous point about ten klicks north of where we were. There was already a team stationed there but they hadn’t radioed in and so it was our job to get there and check out what had happened. When we were less than a klick away a grenade was thrown into our line. Two guys were killed immediately because they couldn’t move out of the way fast enough. The three of us that remained were suddenly hit with heavy fire and were immediately pushed back. At the time we didn’t figure out that they were leading us to where they wanted us. Finally hitting the rendezvous point, we were ambushed by at least five more guys. I remember feeling pain in my right leg and had immediately realized that I had been shot in order for them to take me in as I had managed to rip the head off of a guy. After I collapsed a bag was put over my head and I was knocked out.” Laura had managed to pull Carmilla into her arms, the vampire instinctively tucking her forehead into the crook of the other girl’s neck, “I woke up to screaming and the smell of vomit and blood and sweat. The second I tried to move the bag was ripped off my head and I saw my two comrades sitting across from me, both covered in blood and sweat. There were three other guys in there with us that were talking in some other language I had trouble picking up on. I had started to try to figure out my surroundings but it was barely lit. Then there was pain. A lot of pain. I had never cursed being a vampire more in my life. Every time they drew blood.” Laura held Carmilla to her tightly as the older girl began to shake, screwing her eyes shut as tightly as she could manage, “Every damn time they drew blood, they’d watch me heal. It was pure hell for a year.”

“How did you manage to get out? I mean if you lost so much blood. You started reacting negatively after I held you hostage for nine days.” Laura spoke after a few minutes of silence once Carmilla had calmed down.

“I...I don’t remember. At one point I passed out from the pain and when I opened my eyes I was laying on the ground just outside the doors of a cellar covered in blood and sweat. Things after waking up there come back in bits and pieces.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’d wake up essentially and find that I had been walking for hours. Or I’d open my eyes and realize that I had slept for days and the thirst had become unbearable. There was a lot of blacking out as my body had conditioned itself to do so the second I heard screaming which would coincide with the thirst. Eventually I happened upon a man who woke me up from my animalistic instincts. He promised to get me help if I spared he and his family. I slept a lot in that time and experienced more pain as bones were broken and fixed in order to heal over correctly. The thirst took three months to quench and the healing took another three. I had begged to be given a phone or pen and paper so I could let you know I was coming back to you, but things got complicated. It took a few days, but I made my way back to your door.” Carmilla smiled against Laura’s neck. The younger girl had taken to tracing circles on the other’s back while she spoke, hoping to calm away the memories of the pain.

“I’m glad you came back to me.”

“I always will, cupcake.”

~~~

The sun had just barely started to peek over the horizon when Laura was awaken by the sounds of whimpering. There was a weight on her that she wasn’t used to when the memory of the prior night came back to her. Opening her eyes, she found Carmilla mostly sprawled out on top of her, soft whimpers escaping her throat, her arm or leg twitching every few seconds. At first Laura thought the girl was just dreaming until she realized her face was stained with tears.

“Carm?” She spoke softly, not wanting to panic the obviously already shaken girl. Receiving no response other than another whimper and a mumbled ‘stop’, she gently shook the sleeping girl, “Carm. Carm wake up!” After several seconds of shaking and repeating the girls name, Carmilla’s eyes shot open her breath coming out labored, “Carmilla! Hey, look at me.” Laura pulled the other’s attention to her, causing the girl to shift her weight so she was straddling Laura.

“L...Laura…” Carmilla’s eyes were manic as she looked down at the girl under her, only seeing her and not really registering her surroundings.

“Yes. It’s me. It’s Laura. Your Laura.”

“No, they got you.” Panic became more evident in the vampire’s voice.

“No. You’re not there anymore. You’re here with me.” Laura had cupped Carmilla’s face, holding her gaze.

“Laura.” Realization had finally hit after a few minutes, visibly relaxing Carmilla as she leaned into Laura’s touch. “It was a nightmare.” Carmilla spoke, settling back down to lay on Laura who didn’t seem to mind as she held the girl.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Laura soothed, rubbing Carmilla’s back gently.

“My worst fear was that I would never get this back. Moments like this with you. I didn’t care what they did to me, I just wanted to hear your heartbeat again, your voice. See your smile and feel you. Through every bit of pain I told myself nothing would hurt as much as never seeing you again, being with you again. It pushed me through. Sometimes though my mind would play tricks on me and I would see you right there with me. I would scream out for them to hurt me, torture me as much as they wanted. I would scream for them to leave you alone. When I’d open my eyes again, you were never there. I felt so relieved. My nightmares since then have always put me back there. Back watching them hurt you and screaming for them to ignore you. Yet when I opened my eyes, I was alone. That was always just as bad as the nightmares.” Carmilla forced a smile on her face, forcing back more tears.

“I’m here now. You’re not alone anymore.”

“I’m sorry I put you through all that I did. I fought to get back.”

“I understand now, Carm. I do.” Laura sighed. “But I’d imagine you’d have some sort of PTSD?”

“It can get difficult at times, but I can normally keep it under control. What about you? I’d imagine seeing me back from the dead would bring around something.” Carmilla moved so she was meeting Laura’s eyes.

“There are nightmares on occasion. I survive it though.” Laura smiled softly, “One thing though. I’m not sure I’m ready to just jump back into how things were before...before you left.”

“No. I’m not either.”

“We both have healing to do.” Carmila nodded in response, “But...we’ll be there to heal together. Things will eventually be back to normal. For now though…” Carmilla leaned down and gently kissed Laura’s forehead.

“I can get a room in a hotel somewhere, if it makes it easier.” Carmilla smiled gently.

“No. Stay here. Stay with me.” Laura bit her lip, the idea of not having Carmilla right there brought out a familiar terror in her. Carmilla settled down in Laura’s arms once more, both girls letting out a content sigh.

 


End file.
